Teacher: Main teri Maa Hoti Tou Main Tujhy 2 Din Main Sudhaar Deti
...
Pathan: Madam, Kal Tak Main Apne Papa Sy Mashwara Kar k Bata Doonga
... ;->
_______________________
Sardar goes 2 Gulabo's home and
knocks the door.
Gulabo: Kon?
Sardar: Mein!
Gulabo: Mein
kon?
Sardar: Tu Gulabo hor kon!!!
_______________________
Boy:
Challte Chalte Yunhi Ruk Jata Hoon Main Bethe Bethe Yunhi Kho Jata Hoon Main Kya
Ye Hi Pyaar Hai . . .???
Girl: Nahi Ye Kamzori Hy Subha Shaam Glucose
Piya Karo . .
_________________
Jab apka SMS ata hai mera rom machal jata
haiSara badan kaamp jata haiDil main gudgudi hoti haiStupid, yeh apka kasoor
nahi, mera phone Vibrator per hota hai
_________________
1980 girls: Mom
mei Jeans pehanungi
Mom : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?
Todays girls:
Mom mein mini skirt pehanungi
Mom: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan
le!
__________________
BHIKARI: Saab Rs.6 dedo chai pini he
MAN: kyo?
chai to 3 ki hoti hai.
Bikhari: Saath me giflfriend b hai
Men: Bhikari
hokar b giflfriend banali?
Bikhari: Na saab. giflfriend ne bhikari bana
diya.
__________________
What is difference between Watch and Wife?
Ek
kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho
jaati hai.
__________________
Ek Student Dusre Se:
Aaj Kuch Khatarnak
Kaam Karne Ka Maan Kar Raha Hai
2nd Student: To Phir Chal Kar Thori Parhai
Karte Hein . .
__________________
eik admi ko eik bottle mili us ne us
bottle ko khola to ander se eik jin nikla
jin:hukam mery aka
aka:mujhy
london se lay ker pakistan tek eik bridge bana ker do
jin:aka hukam kerny ko
bola hai bakwas kerny ko nai
__________________
Sardar sent sms to Santa:
Bhejnewala Mahaan, padhnewala Gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala
Gadha, padhnewala Mahaan
____________________
Husbnd: tm se shadi kr k
mjhe ek faayeda tou hua hy,
wife: konsa? Husbnd: mjhe apne sare gunahoun ki
saza dunia me he mil gaie.
____________________
Sardar: Oye Yaar! agar
electricity nahi hoti to kya hota?
Santa: Kuch nahi yaar, hame candle light
me T.V dekhna padta…
____________________
Wife Husband Se : Woh dekho
ladka mujhe smile de raha hai....
Husband : Smile nahi de raha jab maine tmhe
pehli baar dekha tha to mere bhi hansi nikal gaye
thii.....
____________________
Bengali patient: Doctor
sahab,
potla-potla totti aata hai,
khane ko man nahin karta
hai.
Doctor: Yeh lo dawai,
mota-mota totti aayega,
jaise marzi kaat ke
khana
_____________________
Sunny: Kal movie dekhi,
usme na koi
scene tha,
na koi aawaz.
Bunny: Naam kya tha film ka.
Sunny: NO
DISC
___________________
Teacher: is line ki English banao,
"usne apna
kaam kiya or karta hi gya"
Sardar: He done his work and Done Dana Dan Done
Dana Dan...
___________________
Beta: Papa apki shadi ho gai?
Papa:
Yes.Beta: kis se?
Papa: apki mama se.
Beta: aap to bade hi chalak nikley
ghar mai hi chakkar chala liya !
___________________
Aik doctor apne dost
se:
“yar mai soch raha hon k is gaon main apna clinic khol
lon.
Dost:”tumhara khyal to naik hy magar yahan ka qabristan chota
hai.
___________________
Santa Singh, zebra crossing ki black & white
patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalta tha,
woh kya soch raha
hoga....think....... ?"
SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KiYON
NAHI"
___________________
Lady Dr: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khare
hokar aurtoon ko kyun ghoorte ho?
Circuit: Bai ji aapich wahan likha na -
Aurton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am.
___________________
Zindagi Mein Tum
Bohat Aage Jaaoogay,
Kyonkay Jahan Bhi Tum Jaooge
Sab
Kahaingay,
Chal be Chal Aagay Chal
!!!!
___________________
" I MISS U"
Dil karta hai har
pathar pe likhon
I MISS U,
or wo har pathar
apko
maroon
...
ta k apko ye ehsas to ho
kay apki yaad mai kitna
dard hai !!!
____________________
Memon to his Son: Beta shadi k din
susral walay ghari dein tu suit mang lena.Scooter dein tu car mang lena,dokan
dien tu ghar.Beta: Dad larki dein to uski maa mang
lon?
_____________________
3 sardars were going on a
motorcycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop....
sardar shouted : Oye Pagal
hai kya tu teen pehle hi bahite hain tu kahan bhaite
ga....
____________________
Judge Mujrim se: Tum teesri baar adaalat main
aa rahy ho,
Tumhain sharam nahi aati?
Mujrim: ha ha ha haTum roz aatay ho
tumko aati hai kya?
____________________
Ek Sardar doctor k pass gaya
or bola k ghar ja ker mareez check karnay k kitnay pesay logay?Doctor : 300
rs.
Sardar : chlain doctor sahab.
Ghar puhanchay to docor ne pocha k
mareez kahan hai?
Sardar: mareez koi nahi hai,Taxi wala 500 mang raha
tha.
_________________
Dad: Beta Is Bar Exam Main Tujhe 90% Lane Hyn.
Kuch bhi kar Ke.
Son: Nahi Dad, Me Tou Is Bar 100% Launga!
Dad: Q
Mazaq Kar Raha Hai?
Son: Shuroo Kis Ne Kia? ...
hahahahaa
____________________
Man : oye tera ek dant neela kaisey ho
gia?
Sardar : Yaar mein ney ink lagayi hai.
Man : Woh
kiyoun?
Sardar : Kyon k aaj kal blue tooth ka jamana hai yaar
!!!
_______________
Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha charta
hai.
Paani mein Rum milao to nasha charta hai.
Paani mein Brandy
milao to nasha charta hai.
Saala paani mein hi koi burai hai.
!!!!
_______________
You are a DOG…
D = Darling
O =
Of
G = Girls
Now u r smiling na?
Am i right??
Tu sach
mein kutta hai.
______________
Mil gaya oye mil gaya Arey wah woh
to
mujhey
mil
gaya
yes
yes
yes
Akhirkar
mujhe
mera
sms
parhney
wala
bevkuf
milgaya!!!
________________
Santa
to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho
gaya.Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di
thi.
_______________
Biryani khaney ki nyat!!Mein nyat kerta hoin 4 plate
biryani ki, vastey 15,20 boti k, bama zarda raita aur salad k . Muon mera deigh
ki taraf Bismillah.............
_______________
2 sardaroin ko 2 bomb
milay1 sardar:Chal police ko dey detey hain.2 sardar:Agar koi bomb rastey mein
phat gia to?1 sardar:jhot bol dain gey k aik hi mila
tha!!!
_______________
An elephant falls in love with an ant but
ant'sparents r against their marriage........
guess y?........
They
gave a solid reason........
"Larkay k daant bahar
hain".................
______________
Ek aadmi kabar par betha
tha.Musafir ne pucha, dar nahi lagta ?Aadmi:darne ki kya baat hai ….?Ander garmi
lag rahi thi to bahar aa gaya….!!!!
______________
A young girl asked a
Maulvigirl: Can i luv a man ? Maulvi: Astaghfirullahgirl: can i luv a boy?Maulvi
: Nauzubillah girl : can i luv you? Maulvi: Bismillah
....
______________
Aik plane nay rocket say pucha“tum itni taizi say
kaisay urtay ho?
”ROCKET REPLIED:
“tairay thalay koi agg laway tay
pata chalay…”
______________
Kya mamu apun ki yaad vaad nahi aa reli kya?
kya apun hi tere ko aisa jhakas msg bhejta rehenga kya? bolo to tu bhi ek-do
repchik msg chipka dal!! ______________
Boy:chalo kisi sunsan jahga chaltey
haiGirl:tum asi vesi harkat tu nahi karogeyBoy:belkol b nahiGirl: tu pir rehney
do janey ka kia faida
______________
MERE SMS MILE?
NAHI MILE TO YE
LO
SMS SMS SMS SMS
LO CHOTE SMS
sms sms sms
YE LO REMIX
SmS sMs
SmS sMs
STYLISH WALE BHI LO
$M$ $m$ $M$ Bas
ab APKI
bari
______________
Mast nazaron se dekh lena tha agar tamanna thi
aazmaane ki hum to behosh yoon hi ho jaateykiya zaroorat thi muskuraaney ki
...
_________________
ANDHERI SADAK….SUNSAAN KABRISTAN….SUNI HAVELI…..KALA
ASMANBIJLI KADKI…AYA TUFAAN…RAAT HOGAI SUJA SHAITAAN!!
______________
800
kamron ka Mehal ho,
Motiyon se saja ho Darbar,
Income ho Arbon
main,
Aur 200 Marcedes Car,
Sab mil sakta hai Sapnon main,
Is liye
Jagna hai bekaar,
So ja mere yaar, So ja mere
Yaar!
________________
Teacher: Aaj tum late kyu aaye?School 7 baje
shuru hota hai.Sardar: Sir! Aap meri fikr mat kia karo,School shuru karwa dia
karo!
__________________
Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha,Urr
ja.But..makhi nahin uri,Sardar ne kaha,Sabit hua agar makhi k par tor diyejain
to makhi sun nahin sakti
______________________
Dil karta hai keh uss kay
nazook hontoon koo chuum loonnnnn
Magar uss kee behteee hooyee naak nay meraa
iradaa hee badal diyaaa.
_________________
sardar: meri biwi mujhe chor k
chali gayi. freind: tu us ka khyaal nahi rekhta ho ga. sardar:arre yaar sagi
behan ki terah rakhta
tha
_________________
Agar
Koi
Galti
Ghustakhi
Wagaira
Ho
Gai
Ho
Tu
Plz
.
.
.
.
Mafi
maang lo
Me buhat rhm dil hun..
____________________
Ek Memon ko
Jin charh gaya,
3 din k baad Jin khud ek Aalim k paas gaya aur bola:
Aalim
sahab mujhe bahar nikalo,
main to bhooka he mar
jaonga
___________________
Sarcit : Hai Bhai ! Ye Barish Ke Time Par Bijli
Kyon Hoti Hai ?
Munnabhai : Are Maamu, Uparwala Dekh Raha Hoga Ki Koi Sukha
to Nahi Rahe Gaya Na.
_________________________
A Sardar & his wife
were waiting for trainitne main KHYBER MAIL aa gayeSardar bhag k train mein
charhaorapni wife se bolajab khyber female aye to tum bhi
ajana
________________________
KBC quiz show may Shahrukh ne mujh se
poocha.
“Dunya ka sub se bara gadha kon hai?”
May ne 1 caror gawa
dia per tera name nahi bataya….
sachi dosti.. yehi hai
:D
______________
Sardar to Girl friend Darling main tum se shaadi nahi
karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai.
Sardar 1 biwi aur 3 bache.
______________
Son to sardar
‘papa…
5+5
kitne hotay hain?
Sardar
‘ullu de
pathay,
nalaiq,
Idiot,
Besharam,
Gadhay…
Tujhe kuch nahi
ata..
Jaa andar se calculator la.!!
_______________
Is Dil Me Tarane
Bahut Hai,
Zindagi Jine Ke Bahane Bahut Hai,
Kis Kis Ko Sms
Karun
Kambakht Is Nachiz Ke Deewane Bahut Hai
_______________
Boy
Friend:
Kya Tum Meri Salary Main Guzara Kr Logi ? ? ?
Girl
Friend:
Main Tou Guzara Ker Loongi Kr Loongi . . . Par Tumhara Kia Ho
ga
_______________
Mujhe SMS karo aur pao Bumper prize. 19" TV ka diba,
Dubai janey wale jahaz ko TA TA karney ka mauqa,10 lakh wali car ka Photo,ek
Dinner wo bhi aap ke ghar....
______________
7 saal pehly meri gf k sary
bhai ghar pe rehty thay or date marna imposibl tha!Aj sub aate ki line mai khary
rehty hain faraq toh parah hai geo Musharraf
______________
Teacher:
tumhari abhi pitae karti ho nakhoon(nails) q nahee katay?
Student:
M,m,m,m,miss ma to subha roz kattaa ho par van ka driver itni slow drive karta
hai k rastay ma he nails bar jatay hai
______________
Unki gali ke chakkar
katate katate
Kutte bhi humare yaar ho gaye
Vo toh hamare na ho
sake
Hum kutton ke sardar ho gaye
_______________
pathar se dosti, jaan
ko khatra,sardar se dosti, dimaag ko khatra,sarab se dosti, lever ko
khatra,humse dosti, waqt bewaqt sms ka khatra
________________
Dosti kro
college wali se, Ishq larao office wali se, Flirt kro pros wali se, Pyar kro
dilwali se, ankh larao sali se, aur maar khao ger wali se
______________
1
Pathan exam dene gaya to sath may PLUMBER ko le kar gya
!
kiun?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Because
.
.
Pathan
ko information mili thi k paper leak ho gya hai :D
