Urdu Funny Sms

Teacher: Main teri Maa Hoti Tou Main Tujhy 2 Din Main Sudhaar Deti ...

Pathan: Madam, Kal Tak Main Apne Papa Sy Mashwara Kar k Bata Doonga ... ;->

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Sardar goes 2 Gulabo's home and knocks the door.

Gulabo: Kon?

Sardar: Mein!

Gulabo: Mein kon?

Sardar: Tu Gulabo hor kon!!!
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Boy: Challte Chalte Yunhi Ruk Jata Hoon Main Bethe Bethe Yunhi Kho Jata Hoon Main Kya Ye Hi Pyaar Hai . . .???

Girl: Nahi Ye Kamzori Hy Subha Shaam Glucose Piya Karo . .
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Jab apka SMS ata hai mera rom machal jata haiSara badan kaamp jata haiDil main gudgudi hoti haiStupid, yeh apka kasoor nahi, mera phone Vibrator per hota hai
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1980 girls: Mom mei Jeans pehanungi
Mom : Nahin beti log kya kahengey?

Todays girls: Mom mein mini skirt pehanungi

Mom: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
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BHIKARI: Saab Rs.6 dedo chai pini he
MAN: kyo? chai to 3 ki hoti hai.
Bikhari: Saath me giflfriend b hai
Men: Bhikari hokar b giflfriend banali?
Bikhari: Na saab. giflfriend ne bhikari bana diya.
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What is difference between Watch and Wife?
Ek kharaab hoti hai to band ho jaati hai aur doosri kharab hoti hai to chaloo ho jaati hai.
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Ek Student Dusre Se:
Aaj Kuch Khatarnak Kaam Karne Ka Maan Kar Raha Hai
2nd Student: To Phir Chal Kar Thori Parhai Karte Hein . .
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eik admi ko eik bottle mili us ne us bottle ko khola to ander se eik jin nikla
jin:hukam mery aka
aka:mujhy london se lay ker pakistan tek eik bridge bana ker do
jin:aka hukam kerny ko bola hai bakwas kerny ko nai
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Sardar sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala Mahaan, padhnewala Gadha.
Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala Gadha, padhnewala Mahaan
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Husbnd: tm se shadi kr k mjhe ek faayeda tou hua hy,
wife: konsa? Husbnd: mjhe apne sare gunahoun ki saza dunia me he mil gaie.
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Sardar: Oye Yaar! agar electricity nahi hoti to kya hota?
Santa: Kuch nahi yaar, hame candle light me T.V dekhna padta…
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Wife Husband Se : Woh dekho ladka mujhe smile de raha hai....
Husband : Smile nahi de raha jab maine tmhe pehli baar dekha tha to mere bhi hansi nikal gaye thii.....
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Bengali patient: Doctor sahab,
potla-potla totti aata hai,
khane ko man nahin karta hai.
Doctor: Yeh lo dawai,
mota-mota totti aayega,
jaise marzi kaat ke khana
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Sunny: Kal movie dekhi,

usme na koi scene tha,

na koi aawaz.
Bunny: Naam kya tha film ka.

Sunny: NO DISC
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Teacher: is line ki English banao,
"usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gya"
Sardar: He done his work and Done Dana Dan Done Dana Dan...
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Beta: Papa apki shadi ho gai?
Papa: Yes.Beta: kis se?
Papa: apki mama se.
Beta: aap to bade hi chalak nikley ghar mai hi chakkar chala liya !
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Aik doctor apne dost se:
“yar mai soch raha hon k is gaon main apna clinic khol lon.
Dost:”tumhara khyal to naik hy magar yahan ka qabristan chota hai.
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Santa Singh, zebra crossing ki black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalta tha,
woh kya soch raha hoga....think....... ?"



SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KiYON NAHI"
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Lady Dr: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khare hokar aurtoon ko kyun ghoorte ho?
Circuit: Bai ji aapich wahan likha na - Aurton ko dekhne ka samay 9am-11am.
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Zindagi Mein Tum Bohat Aage Jaaoogay,
Kyonkay Jahan Bhi Tum Jaooge
Sab Kahaingay,



Chal be Chal Aagay Chal !!!!
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" I MISS U"



Dil karta hai har pathar pe likhon
I MISS U,

or wo har pathar
apko maroon

...

ta k apko ye ehsas to ho

kay apki yaad mai kitna dard hai !!!
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Memon to his Son: Beta shadi k din susral walay ghari dein tu suit mang lena.Scooter dein tu car mang lena,dokan dien tu ghar.Beta: Dad larki dein to uski maa mang lon?
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3 sardars were going on a motorcycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop....
sardar shouted : Oye Pagal hai kya tu teen pehle hi bahite hain tu kahan bhaite ga....
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Judge Mujrim se: Tum teesri baar adaalat main aa rahy ho,
Tumhain sharam nahi aati?
Mujrim: ha ha ha haTum roz aatay ho tumko aati hai kya?
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Ek Sardar doctor k pass gaya or bola k ghar ja ker mareez check karnay k kitnay pesay logay?Doctor : 300 rs.
Sardar : chlain doctor sahab.

Ghar puhanchay to docor ne pocha k mareez kahan hai?

Sardar: mareez koi nahi hai,Taxi wala 500 mang raha tha.
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Dad: Beta Is Bar Exam Main Tujhe 90% Lane Hyn. Kuch bhi kar Ke.

Son: Nahi Dad, Me Tou Is Bar 100% Launga!

Dad: Q Mazaq Kar Raha Hai?

Son: Shuroo Kis Ne Kia? ... hahahahaa
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Man : oye tera ek dant neela kaisey ho gia?

Sardar : Yaar mein ney ink lagayi hai.

Man : Woh kiyoun?

Sardar : Kyon k aaj kal blue tooth ka jamana hai yaar !!!
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Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha charta hai.

Paani mein Rum milao to nasha charta hai.

Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha charta hai.


Saala paani mein hi koi burai hai. !!!!
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You are a DOG…
D = Darling


O = Of

G = Girls

Now u r smiling na?
Am i right??

Tu sach mein kutta hai.
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Mil gaya oye mil gaya Arey wah woh to

mujhey

mil gaya

yes

yes
yes

Akhirkar

mujhe

mera

sms

parhney

wala

bevkuf


milgaya!!!
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Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.
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Biryani khaney ki nyat!!Mein nyat kerta hoin 4 plate biryani ki, vastey 15,20 boti k, bama zarda raita aur salad k . Muon mera deigh ki taraf Bismillah.............
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2 sardaroin ko 2 bomb milay1 sardar:Chal police ko dey detey hain.2 sardar:Agar koi bomb rastey mein phat gia to?1 sardar:jhot bol dain gey k aik hi mila tha!!!
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An elephant falls in love with an ant but ant'sparents r against their marriage........
guess y?........

They gave a solid reason........


"Larkay k daant bahar hain".................

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Ek aadmi kabar par betha tha.Musafir ne pucha, dar nahi lagta ?Aadmi:darne ki kya baat hai ….?Ander garmi lag rahi thi to bahar aa gaya….!!!!
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A young girl asked a Maulvigirl: Can i luv a man ? Maulvi: Astaghfirullahgirl: can i luv a boy?Maulvi : Nauzubillah girl : can i luv you? Maulvi: Bismillah ....
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Aik plane nay rocket say pucha“tum itni taizi say kaisay urtay ho?

”ROCKET REPLIED:
“tairay thalay koi agg laway tay pata chalay…”
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Kya mamu apun ki yaad vaad nahi aa reli kya? kya apun hi tere ko aisa jhakas msg bhejta rehenga kya? bolo to tu bhi ek-do repchik msg chipka dal!! ______________
Boy:chalo kisi sunsan jahga chaltey haiGirl:tum asi vesi harkat tu nahi karogeyBoy:belkol b nahiGirl: tu pir rehney do janey ka kia faida
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MERE SMS MILE?
NAHI MILE TO YE LO
SMS SMS SMS SMS
LO CHOTE SMS
sms sms sms
YE LO REMIX
SmS sMs SmS sMs
STYLISH WALE BHI LO
$M$ $m$ $M$ Bas
ab APKI bari
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Mast nazaron se dekh lena tha agar tamanna thi aazmaane ki hum to behosh yoon hi ho jaateykiya zaroorat thi muskuraaney ki ...
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ANDHERI SADAK….SUNSAAN KABRISTAN….SUNI HAVELI…..KALA ASMANBIJLI KADKI…AYA TUFAAN…RAAT HOGAI SUJA SHAITAAN!!
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800 kamron ka Mehal ho,
Motiyon se saja ho Darbar,
Income ho Arbon main,
Aur 200 Marcedes Car,
Sab mil sakta hai Sapnon main,
Is liye Jagna hai bekaar,
So ja mere yaar, So ja mere Yaar!

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Teacher: Aaj tum late kyu aaye?School 7 baje shuru hota hai.Sardar: Sir! Aap meri fikr mat kia karo,School shuru karwa dia karo!
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Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha,Urr ja.But..makhi nahin uri,Sardar ne kaha,Sabit hua agar makhi k par tor diyejain to makhi sun nahin sakti
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Dil karta hai keh uss kay nazook hontoon koo chuum loonnnnn
Magar uss kee behteee hooyee naak nay meraa iradaa hee badal diyaaa.
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sardar: meri biwi mujhe chor k chali gayi. freind: tu us ka khyaal nahi rekhta ho ga. sardar:arre yaar sagi behan ki terah rakhta tha
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Agar
Koi
Galti
Ghustakhi
Wagaira
Ho
Gai
Ho
Tu

Plz

.

.

.

.

Mafi maang lo

Me buhat rhm dil hun..
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Ek Memon ko Jin charh gaya,
3 din k baad Jin khud ek Aalim k paas gaya aur bola:
Aalim sahab mujhe bahar nikalo,
main to bhooka he mar jaonga
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Sarcit : Hai Bhai ! Ye Barish Ke Time Par Bijli Kyon Hoti Hai ?
Munnabhai : Are Maamu, Uparwala Dekh Raha Hoga Ki Koi Sukha to Nahi Rahe Gaya Na.
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A Sardar & his wife were waiting for trainitne main KHYBER MAIL aa gayeSardar bhag k train mein charhaorapni wife se bolajab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana
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KBC quiz show may Shahrukh ne mujh se poocha.

“Dunya ka sub se bara gadha kon hai?”

May ne 1 caror gawa dia per tera name nahi bataya….


sachi dosti.. yehi hai :D
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Sardar to Girl friend Darling main tum se shaadi nahi karsakta gharwale mana karrahe hai. Girlfriend Tumhare ghar me kaun kaun hai. Sardar 1 biwi aur 3 bache.
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Son to sardar
‘papa…
5+5 kitne hotay hain?
Sardar
‘ullu de pathay,
nalaiq,
Idiot,
Besharam,
Gadhay…
Tujhe kuch nahi ata..
Jaa andar se calculator la.!!
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Is Dil Me Tarane Bahut Hai,
Zindagi Jine Ke Bahane Bahut Hai,
Kis Kis Ko Sms Karun
Kambakht Is Nachiz Ke Deewane Bahut Hai
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Boy Friend:
Kya Tum Meri Salary Main Guzara Kr Logi ? ? ?

Girl Friend:
Main Tou Guzara Ker Loongi Kr Loongi . . . Par Tumhara Kia Ho ga
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Mujhe SMS karo aur pao Bumper prize. 19" TV ka diba, Dubai janey wale jahaz ko TA TA karney ka mauqa,10 lakh wali car ka Photo,ek Dinner wo bhi aap ke ghar....
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7 saal pehly meri gf k sary bhai ghar pe rehty thay or date marna imposibl tha!Aj sub aate ki line mai khary rehty hain faraq toh parah hai geo Musharraf
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Teacher: tumhari abhi pitae karti ho nakhoon(nails) q nahee katay?
Student: M,m,m,m,miss ma to subha roz kattaa ho par van ka driver itni slow drive karta hai k rastay ma he nails bar jatay hai
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Unki gali ke chakkar katate katate
Kutte bhi humare yaar ho gaye
Vo toh hamare na ho sake
Hum kutton ke sardar ho gaye
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pathar se dosti, jaan ko khatra,sardar se dosti, dimaag ko khatra,sarab se dosti, lever ko khatra,humse dosti, waqt bewaqt sms ka khatra
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Dosti kro college wali se, Ishq larao office wali se, Flirt kro pros wali se, Pyar kro dilwali se, ankh larao sali se, aur maar khao ger wali se
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1 Pathan exam dene gaya to sath may PLUMBER ko le kar gya !

kiun?
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Because
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Pathan ko information mili thi k paper leak ho gya hai :D