Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,

Begana kaho ya deewana,

Suno is dil ka fasana,

Teri dosti hai mere jeene ka bahana..

Mosm_e_hijr k lamhat koi kya jane

kya guzrti hai mere sath koi kya jane

Duryon me bhi tere sath marasim hain wohi

Roz hoti hai mulaqat koi kya jane

Log hYe lo msg video k sath sirf ap k lye mry lovly frnd

Kuch Istrha teri palken

(e  ; (

(e

meri palkon se milade

((  ; )

((

Aansu tere sare

(e_ _  ansti huwe Ankhon pe yaqeen rakhte hain

Mere ansu mere jazbat koi kya jane

Ek tu hai jise maloom hain sari baatein

shab_e_hijr k merey halat koi kia jane; (

(e_ _

Meri palkon pe sjade

((_ _ _ ; )

((_ _ _

Kuch is tarah

Tu Har Ghari 12

9  <  3   6

Har waqt

mere sath raha hai

Han ye jism @   

koi kia jane k khmoshya kia kehti han

meri Ankhon k swalat tumhary bin koi  kia jane.      @< >         < > !L           !LKabhi door

@  @

< > < >!L  !L

Kabhi pas raha hai

jo b Gham hai ye tere@

< >!L

Unhain tu mera pata dy

Yun hum ko satane ki zarorat kya thi

Dil mera tour k jane ki zarorat kya thi

Jo nahe tha ishq tu keh diya hota

Hume yun aazmane ki zarorat kya thi

Maloom tha gehray khawab toot jaein gay

Neend main aa k jagane ki zarorat kya thi

Maan lon gar yeh yak tarfa mohabat thi

Mujhay dekh ker muskurane ki zarorat kya thi 

Jo hum na thay tumharay

qabil-e-nazar

Tu Mohabat sikha ker thokar lagane ki zarorat kya thi...?

* every 1has different phases of sex life.

age 18-din raat

age 28-roz raat

age 38-jumairat

age 48-chandraat

age 58-ghalatbaat

Child: Papa aunti ka pait kiun phula hai

Father: i know, tu sab janta hai

Child: i don't know, trust me

Father: In k pait mai pani bhara hai

Child: Ohoo!! phir Papa bacha to doob jaiga

mehboob mere,mehboob mere..

apni masti me mujhe jeene de..

joo dood hai tere seene me..

mujhe daba-daba ke peene de

Tut k zra dkho,tm agr bikhr jao, be basi mei ghir jao,

dil se ek sada dyna, bs mje bula lyna,

main tmhein smbhalon ga,

zindgi mei chalne ka,

rasta badlne ka, ek huner skha doun ga,

tm ko hoslaa doun ga, or jb smbhl jao,

roushne mei dhal jao,

mjh ko youn sila dyna,

tm mje bhula dyna

Khlos-e-dil se milo to saza detay hein log

Sachay jazbat b  thukra  detay hen log

Dekh nahi saktay do dilon ka milna

Bethy huay do prinday b ura dety hen log

New Year Wishes.

My wishes for 2011

12Months of HAPPINES
52Wks of FUN
365Days of SUCCESS
8760Hrs GUD HEALTH
525600Mins of GUD LUCK

31536000 Seconds ful of joy Happy NewYear

Main apni duaaon ka asar dekh rahi hon

Main apni duaaon ka asar dekh rahi hon
ghambheer andheron mein sahar dekh rahi hon
Dil ka sahar-o-shaam tardapna woh machalna
dekha nahi jaata hay magar dekh rahi hon
ALLAH karay soz-e-daron aur ziyada
kuch aur nayay zakhm-e-jigar dekh rahi hon
Ghabra kay palat jaaon meray bus mein nahi hay
go samnay anjam e safar dekh rahi hon
aankhon mein idhar ashk udhar aag hay dil mein
barsaat mein jalta hoa ghar dekh rahi hon
Afsurda si lagti hay mujhay bazm-e-sukhan bhi
aazurda mein tum ko jo “Adi” dekh rahi hon

New Year

Accept my simple gift of wishes, Wrapped with SINCERITY,Tied with CARE & Sealed with BLESSINGS for PEACE & PROSPERITY in this New Year. Have a GREAT 2011.

kabhi main yaad aaoon to

kabhi main yaad aaoon to
kabhi tanhai ke lamhay
tumhayn ziyada sataein to
kabhi koyal na bolay to
aur jugnoo lot jayn to
kabhi jab dil bhi bher jaye
koi jab sun na paye to
ager sab dost sathi bhi
jo tum say roth jaein to
kabhi jab khud se lar lar kar
thakan sachoor ho jao
kabhi chahte hue bhi khud akele
ro na pao to
apni ankhon ko bund karna
mujhay awaz de dena
aur phir mera tasawur se
jo chaho batein keh dena
meray kaandhe pe sar rakh kar
tum jitna chaho ro lena
phir khud main jab lot jao to
ussi duniya chale jana
mager bus itna khena hay
ke jab bhi dukh ya khushion main
humain dil say pukaro ge
humain tum sath pao ge

Jane Kis Cheez Ki Kami Hay Abhi

Jane Kis Cheez Ki Kami Hay Abhi
Dil main ik laher si uthi hay abhi
Koi taza hawa chali hay abhi
Shoor barpa hay khana-e-dil main
Koi diwar si giri hay abhi
kuch to nazuk mizaj hain hum bhi
Aur yeh choot bhi nayi hay abhi
Bhari dunya main jee naheen lagta
jane kis cheez ki kammi hay abhi
So gaye loog us haweli k
Aik khirki magar khuli hay abhi
Dil main ik laher si uthi hay abhi
Koi taza hawa chali hay abhi.

Ishq Mai Marr Mitna

Ishq Mai Marr Mitna To Bahot Aasaan Hai…..Dost…..
Hum Zinda Hai Yehi Dard Kafi Hai Teri Bewafai Ke Baad….

Meri muhabbat mere jazbaat

Meri muhabbat mere jazbaat
Sirf Tum Se Hai
Dekho meri kainat
Sirf Tum Se Hai
Oron se mein pochne ka
haq nahein rakhti
Mere sawalat mere
jawabat Sirf Tum Se Hai
Tum ko maloom hi nahi
meri tanhai ka dukh
Meri sochein mere khyalat
Sirf Tum Se Hein
Tum sath ho to muqaddar
pe hakomat apni
Mere har rishte ki sougaat
Sirf Tum Se Hai
Gar kabhi bikhar jaon to
samait lena mujh ko
Hai mukammal jo meri zaat
Sirf Tum Se Hai.

Jane Kis Cheez Ki Kami Hay Abhi

Jane Kis Cheez Ki Kami Hay Abhi
Dil main ik laher si uthi hay abhi
Koi taza hawa chali hay abhi
Shoor barpa hay khana-e-dil main
Koi diwar si giri hay abhi
kuch to nazuk mizaj hain hum bhi
Aur yeh choot bhi nayi hay abhi
Bhari dunya main jee naheen lagta
jane kis cheez ki kammi hay abhi
So gaye loog us haweli k
Aik khirki magar khuli hay abhi
Dil main ik laher si uthi hay abhi
Koi taza hawa chali hay abhi.

kabhi main yaad aaoon to

kabhi main yaad aaoon to
kabhi tanhai ke lamhay
tumhayn ziyada sataein to
kabhi koyal na bolay to
aur jugnoo lot jayn to
kabhi jab dil bhi bher jaye
koi jab sun na paye to
ager sab dost sathi bhi
jo tum say roth jaein to
kabhi jab khud se lar lar kar
thakan sachoor ho jao
kabhi chahte hue bhi khud akele
ro na pao to
apni ankhon ko bund karna
mujhay awaz de dena
aur phir mera tasawur se
jo chaho batein keh dena
meray kaandhe pe sar rakh kar
tum jitna chaho ro lena
phir khud main jab lot jao to
ussi duniya chale jana
mager bus itna khena hay
ke jab bhi dukh ya khushion main
humain dil say pukaro ge
humain tum sath pao ge

Chandni Chhat Pe Chal Rahi Hogi,

Chandni Chhat Pe Chal Rahi Hogi,
Ab Akeli Tahel Rahi Hogi,
Phir Mera Zikr Aa Gaya Hoga,
Wo Barf Si Pighal Rahi Hogi,
Kal Ka Sapna Bahut Suhana Tha,
Ye Udaasi Na Kal Rahi Hogi,
Sochta Hoon Ke Band Kamre Mein,
Ek Shama Si Jal Rahi Hogi,
Tere Gehno Si Khan Khanati Thi,
Baajre Ki Fasal Rahi Hogi,
Jin Hawaon Ne Tujhko Dular Aaya,
Un Mein Meri Gazal Rahi Hogi…

Thought for Today

Worry doesn't take the problems out of tomorrow, It takes the strength out of today.

Smile more, Worry Less

Nav Varsha Shubheccha !

Shrikhand Puri,



Reshmi Gudi,


Limba che Pan,


Nav Varsha jaao chhan. Amchya sarvanchya tarphe hardik shoobhecha.


*Happy Gudi Padwa.*

cute bakrid eid sms

cute bakrid eid sms
Wishing u happy Eid,
soft as silk,
white as milk,
sweet as honey,
full of money
and
cute as u…

Successful Person.

If u fall,don’t see the place where u fell,but, see the place where u slipped. "That’s the way to be successful person.

Life

Measuring life by what others do 4 u may disappoint u..but measuring life by what u do 4 others wil add more meaning 2 ur life..

Paani

Ab ke sawan main paani barsa bahut,

Paani ki har boond mein woh aaye yaad bahut,

Is suhaane mausam mein saath nahi tha koi,

Baadlon ke saath in aankhon se paani baha bahut

Kasam Tumhari.

Badalna aata nahi humko mausamo ki tarah



Har ek roop main tera intezar karte hain



Na tum sameet sakogi jise qayamat tak



Kasam tumhari tumhe itna pyar karte hain.

eid mubarak sms

eid mubarak sms
No Greeting Card 2 Give...!
No Sweet Flowers 2 Send...
No Cute Graphics 2 Forward..!
Just I Have
"LOVING HEART"
2 Say advance
"EID MUBARAK"

hello every one

please join our fan page

thx you

Na tujhe chor sakty hain tery ho B nai sakty

Na tujhe chor sakty hain tery ho B nai sakty
ye kesi bebasi aaj hum ro B nai sakty,

ye kesa dard hai paL paL hamain tarpaye rakhta hai

tumhari yaad aati hai to phir so B nai sakty,

chupa saktey hain or na hi dikha saktey hain Logon ko

daag kuch aesy diye hain diL par Jo hum dho B nai saktey,

kaha tha chor donga ye nagar phir ruk gaya Lekin

tumhain paa nai saktey to kho B nai saktey.

Dil ki lakir pe koi gam na ho

Dil ki lakeer pe koi gam na ho....

Hamari ye dosti kabhi kam na ho..

Aapko mile zamane ki har khushi,....

chahe us khushi me ham ho na ho...

Life is

Don't make it heavier by dipping it in water of sorrow...

but make it lighter by letting it blow in the wind of joy.

ENJOY

Eid Mubarak messages

Eid Mubarak messages
Sending u a golden box full of 'SALAMS' wrapped in a silvery 'AFFECTION' tied wid silky 'CARE' sweetly sealed wid 'DUAS' 2 keep u safe happy!!
EID MUBARAK

Sweet EID MUBARAK SMS

Sweet EID MUBARAK SMS
Beware of other duplicate Eid wishers
I am the only authorised ISO 2009 certified
dealer in Eid wishes
I wish u an original SWEET EID

EID MUBARAK!!!

Saraswathi Pooja text scraps

Saraswathi Pooja text scraps
No greeting card to give,
No sweet flowers to send,
No cute graphics to forward,
Just a carrying heart wishing u
Happy Ayudha Pooja & Saraswathi Pooja

sms for Vijaya Dashami

Wishing u Happiness, Gud fortune, Success, Peace & Progress on the occassion of Vijaya Dashami & ayudha pooja...! Have a wonderful days ahead...!

Eid Mubarak greetings sms

Eid Mubarak greetings sms
Here comes the day, once in a blue moon.
With chanda mama shinin up bright
And blessing everyone. Her luv so tender, merciful.
Shinin down on the earth wishin us “Happy eid”.
Eid UL Zuha

best eid greetings

best eid greetings
The moon has been sighted,
The somosas are ready,
here comes EID,
so take it steady,
lots of duas is all i request,
and jus wantto wish u
all the best
EID MUBARAK

happy ed mubarak sms

happy ed mubarak sms
Eid is about love....
Eid is about brotherhood....
Eid is about dedication...
Eid is about happiness....
I Wish you and your family a Happy Eid Mubarak

Girls are the smartest creature on this earth..

Girls are the smartest creature on this earth..

You know why??

They listen HALF...

Understand QUARTER...

And tell DOUBLE...

Wow what a talent...

Amazing :D

Latest Navratri SMS Messages

This Navratri, may you be blessed with good fortune as long as Ganeshji’s trunk, wealth and prosperity as big as his stomach, happiness as sweet as his ladoos and may your trouble be as small as his mouse.
Happy Navratri



Fortunate is the one who has learned to admire, but not to envy.
Good Wishes for a joyous Navratri, with plenty of Peace and Prosperity!


May your life be filled with happiness on this pious festival of Navratri,
Happy Navratri!

A very Happy Dussehra

As the candlelight flame
Ur life may always be happy,
As the mountain high
U move without shy,
As sunshine creates morning glory
fragrance fills years as Flory,
All darkness is far away
As light is on its way.
Wishing You all a very Happy Dussehra.

Riddle Of The Day

"Riddle Of The Day"

Woh Konsa Number Hai Jo

2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Or 9

Se Poora Taqseem(Divide) Hota Hai?

Ans:
2520
5040
7560

Happy Gandhi Jayanti

On Gandhi Jayanti,let’s pay our tributes to the messiah of non-violence & take leadership in creating better polity in India, to build a best India!
Happy Gandhi Jayanti.

Bijoya Dashami Bengali SMS

Anek swapna puran kore Maa chole jaan kon sudure
Maa-er aasa, Maa-er jawa Natun khushir natun hawa
Dukkho kore labh ki tobe, Aaschhe bachhor aabar habe!

SUBHA BIJAYA

_______________________________________________________

Valo thaka valobasha
Valo mone kichu asha
bedonar dure thaka
sukhsmriti fire dekha
Bondhon theke borondala,
Bijoya mane egiye chola.
**SUBHO BIJOYA**

_______________________________________________________

Dasamir ai sondhe bela
saango holo sindur khela,
ma er ghore ferar pala,
chokher jal-e biday bola,
ma-er holo somoy jabar
aasche bachor aasbe aabar.

Subho Bijoya

_______________________________________________________

Sukher smriti rekho mone, Mishe theko aponjone.
Man aviman sokol vule, Ashar prodip rekho jele.
Maa asbe ei asha rekhe, Sobai mile theko sukhe.

SUBHO BIJOYA

_______________________________________________________

Kur kur bajche dhak, kailash je dilo daak
Suru hobe sindur khela, mayer je aj jawar pala
Bodhon theke bisorjon, bhalo rekho Ma sobar mon...

Subho Bijoya

Ek ghaney Jungle mein aap raat ko akeley

Ek ghaney Jungle mein aap raat ko akeley,
2 bajey ka time zor ki hawa chali...!!!
Saamnay tree par ek lash zameen se 15ft upar latakti hui,
Apke dil mein ghabrahat,
Saans tez chalti hui aap us lash k pas gaye,
Achanak tree ki tehni tuti n lash aap k upar giri,
Then...

Calculate the force with which the body will fall on you.
Also, calculate the Kinetic Energy,
when body will be at height of 6 ft from ground.
( take, g=9.8m/s n mass=66kg)

Funny Poem Text Messages

Short funny poems are quite different to long funny poems.
Short poems are often deliciously,
wickedly funny and are also really quick and easy to read.


There are some really funny poems and some quite funny poems and a few poems about which you'll say 'Ugh,
I don't think that's funny at all'.
Don't worry, your Ugh poems will be someone else's favourite funny poems and vice versa


Only the freshest,
ripest, juiciest poetry is selected for funny poems for kids,
so you won't find any stale old poems by writers who died years and years ago

Motivational Quotes Collection

When people walk away from my life, I let them go. My destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves me and it doesn’t mean that they are bad people, It just means that their part in my story is over.


The uncertainties of the present always give way to the enchanted possibilities of the future.


Be true to yourself and be less concerned with what others think of you. Don’t accept their definition of you, But grow into a self definition of your own.!

Love Quotes Messages

I’m such a good lover because I practise a lot on my own.
Woody Allen


True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
ERICH SEGAL


Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
John Barrymore

Friendship Text Messages for Friends

thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr.
It cOmEs wHeN u ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe,
thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL tHeRe


True friends are like Diamonds.
they are real and rare.
False friends are like leaves.
they are scattered everywhere.


In this WORLD,
where everything seems UNCERTAIN,
only one thing is DEFINITE.
You'll always be my FRIEND,
beyond WORDS, beyond TIME & beyond DISTANCE!

Boy with Girlfriend Watching Boxing Match

Boy wd his girlfrnd watching a Boxing match,
In wch a boxer got knocked out in d 1st round!
Boy:Disgusting just
ALL OVER in 1 min?
Girl:Now U knw how I Feel? ;

Kissing is a habit Love Poem

Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says I love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn

Maha Shivaratri Wishes Messages

Devotees must spend the night of Shivaratri by chanting with full sincerity the name of Lord Shiva and seek His divine blessings

Shiva Ratri is a much anticipated festival by all Hindus. Pilgrims and yogis (holy men), from all over Southeast Asia come to Kathmandu weeks before the festival. On this holy day people fast through out the day. At dawn, worshippers take a holy bath or dip in the river and go to the temple to worship. happy siva ratri, from kancharana's ,srikakulam, sorligam.


Shivratri blessings to you and your family.May the almighty Lord Shiva bless youall with good things and perfect health."

Nice to hear again and again

A student called up his physics professor..his wife picked up d phone n said "he died last week"
..
Next day student called again..
She again pickd up n said "I told u, he died last week"
..
......He called d third time..
Wife said "he died.. y do u keep on calling again n again??"
..
..
Student: "Nice to hear again and again"

Royal Wedding Jokes

Q: Why is the royal wedding like a three ring circus?
A: Because there is the engagement ring, the wedding ring and the suffering!



Q: Why is Prince William’s marriage worse than a lottery?
A: With a lottery, you do have a slight chance.



Q: What’s the best way for Princess Kate to get Prince William to do something?
A: Suggest that perhaps he’s too old to do it.



Q: What’s Prince William’s definition of a perfect wife?
A: One who helps him with the dishes.


Q: What are the two steps Prince William must take to have a successful marriage?
A: First, let Princess Kate think she is having here own way. Second, let her have her own way.

Cool SMS Messages in English

Beautiful Pictures are Devolped
from Negatives in a Dark Room.
So, if U see Darkness in ur Life
be sure that God is making
a Beautiful Picture 4 U


The First Person In The Morning
'N The Last Person In The Night
You Think About,
Is Either The Cause Of Your Happiness Or
The Cause Of Your Pain


Never expect anything in return from any1
But the truth is
when we really love someone,
we naturally expect a little care 4rm them!

Husband Wife English Joke

Husband:when i got mad at you never fight back..how do u control your anger?
WIFE: i clean the toilet bowl.
HUSBAND:hOw does that help?
WIFE:Because i use your tooth brush..
HUSBAND:Whatttttttttt

Tumhara andar gaya tab 6 inch

1st time sexy karne ke baad ladki darr gayi,
Aur jor jor se chut par hath mar k rone lagi.

Ladka- kya hua?

Ladki- tumhara andar gaya tab 6 inch ka tha bahar aaya to 3 inch
ka tha.

Baki aadha kanha gaya ?..... :'(

Shikwa nahi tum se apne

Hamain Shikwa nahi tum se apne bhool jane ka,
Ham se he shayed koi khata hui, ke tum ko yaad na rahe,

1st Drink then Think

Boy:
Ap ka Mobile No. kya Hy?

Girl: Shut Up!

1st Drink then Think.

Boy:
Ap Apna Mobile No. De dain,
Muje Chk Karna Hy 500 K Easy-Load Mai Kitna Balnace Aata Hy!!

Girl: How Sweet!!

¤University of Kaminiology

Best Karva Chauth sms in English

May God bless you with all those happiness and pleasures you have asked for me sweetheart! Wish you a happy Karva Chauth and a prosperous married life with me!


If I were a tear in ur eye I wood roll down onto ur lips.
But if u were a tear in my eye,
I wood never cry as I wood be afraid 2 lose u!
Thanks for being mine forever.
Happy Karva Chauth!


A Dark Cloud Of Gloom Is Hovering My Heart,
Am Praying For Your Happiness and Long Life,
You Are Always In My Heart,
Missing You Very Much On This Karwa Chauth…


May The Moon Light,
Flood Your Life With,
Happiness and Joy,
Peace and Harmony.
Happy Karwa Chauth..!!

A Very HAPPY DIWALI

”l________
–/ l__l Delivery
| | ________
L(o)__l___(o)__|
This Bus is loaded with
LOVE and CARE,
Wishing you and your family
A Very HAPPY DIWALI

Height Of Physics

A conductor kicks old man out of bus.

Police send conductor jail & gave him shock bt he had no effect..
.
Y
.
.
Because he was a BAD conductor...:P

aadmi Maa/Baap/ Behan/Bhai say to mang sakta hay

Is ka ans btao

Wo kon c cheez hai jo aadmi Maa/Baap/ Behan/Bhai say to mang sakta hay,

Mager apni BV say nahi mang sakta.

yh open Chalange ha
reply must...

Kasam Tumhari.

Badalna aata nahi humko mausamo ki tarah



Har ek roop main tera intezar karte hain



Na tum sameet sakogi jise qayamat tak



Kasam tumhari tumhe itna pyar karte hain.

Happy Diwali.

Diyo Ki Roshni,

Rangoli Ki Bahar,

Patako ki Dhoom,

Apno ka Pyar,



Laxmi ka Aagman,

Aur Khushiyo ka Tyohar,

Mubarak ho Aapko,

Diwali ka Tyohar !

Diwali Wishes .

May this Diwali bring in u the most brightest and choicest happiness and love you have ever Wished for.

Pehchan !

Chehre ki muskaan ban jata hai koi,
Dil ki dhadkan ban jata hai koi.
Kaise jiyen unke bin,
Jab zindagi jeene ki pehchaan ban jata hai koi....:

Baap Ka Paisa !

Que: Why Do We See  "Maa Ka Aashirwad"
Written On Trucks ..??

 

Bcoz

 

... ... ...
 

 

Mercedez, CIVICs n C0R0LLAs Are Usually The Result 0F
"Baap Ka Paisa" ;-)

Jawab zuror dana

"Jawab zuror dana,
I now u r intelignt,
I am wating,
1 larki car ma ja rhi thi
Larky ny lift le li jab car sy larka utra tu usny larki sy naam pocha?
Larki na kahaa meri car ka jo nbr hy us ma hi mera naam hy Dimagh hy tu dhond lena,
CAR ka Nomber ye tha ""VI805""
Batao larki ka naam kya hai?

Answer: Sobia

A Letter from Sardarji's Mummyji

Dear Banta Puttar

Vahe Guru!

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I won’t be able to send the addrwiess as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I'm not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is really badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove.. so we removed both !

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.


Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father's last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

Chalenge 4 u? Apko bht sakht pyas lgi hui hy

Chalenge 4 u?

Apko bht sakht pyas lgi hui hy

Or Ap jungle se guzar rhy ho
Raste me Apko 1 borhi orat nazr ati hy js k pas matke me pani hy
Lekin us orat ko 1 bimari hy k?
Us se kuch b pucho
Wo "NAHI"me Ans deti hy
Batao ap us se pani kaise mngo gy k wo NA b kary or ap pani b pi lo?

Ans zaror dena?:

Ans:
Mai tmse pani mangu ga to tm mana to ni krogi.

What Is Love?

What Is Love?

For A Boy:

It Is That Stupid Nervousness Before Proposing A Girl. .
......
For A Girl :

It Is That Excitement Of Standing Before A Nervous Boy :P ;)

Question's 1 : Rail Gari K Engen Ki Lights

Question's

1 : Rail Gari K

Engen Ki Lights

Din Ko B Jalti

Hain Q ?

2 ;Mobile Ki Sim

Change Krny K

Baad Time 9:00

Ka Hota Hai Q ?

3 : Front Seat Pr

Hmesha Ladies

Ko Bithata Jata

Ha q?

I S O Y M B U H T A E I R Y S

Ye 15 words hain inhein tarteeb do

Agr tarteeb de dia to samjho k ap such me pyar ka matlab jante hain

I S O Y M B U H T A E I R Y S

Reply must.
Chalange

Answer:

I MISS YOU BY HEART

Best Friends

Touch my heart and I'll touch yours
With a gentle word or two,
For kindness bears the sweetest fruit
That makes our dreams come true.

Touch my life with tenderness
And fill my cup with love.
Share my dreams as I share yours
Beyond the stars above

Take my hand as I grow old
And lead me when I'm blind.
Show me that you really care
Good Friends are hard to find.

Touch my heart and I'll touch yours
A little more each day
And then we will both find happiness
Somewhere along the way

I thank you for your friendship

I thank you for your friendship, for the radiance of you smile.
I thank you for always going, that extra mile.

I thank you for giving unto me, each day, the sunshine.
For the thoughts of you that sometimes causes my words to rhyme.

I thank you for the laughter that has removed some tears.
And for listening to my silence throughout the passing years.

I thank you for your inspiration and love.
That surely must have been sent from above.

I STILL MET YOU

1 Universe,
9 planets,
204 countries,
809 islands,
7 seas,
5 billion people,
and
I STILL MET YOU. :)
Send this to the people Whom you do not regret meeting.:)

If I could pull down the rainbow

If I could pull down the rainbow,

I would write your name in it & put it

back in the sky to let everybody know

how colourful my life is with a friend like you.

A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW

A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW
Its Sweeter when its TRUE
But Its Sweetest when the friend is like U.

R + cat + shoe - rat + sun

Try to solve it!

R + cat + shoe - rat + sun - chose + moon + i - noon + goal + t - goat - u +e

Reply me if u r genious
answer sirf 1 lafz hai.

NUMBERS 0 TO 9

Read this first, then click onto the attachment!

How numerals 0 - 9 got their shape - Interesting !
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Do you know why numbers look like they do? Someone, at some
point in time, had to create their shapes and meaning.
Watch this short presentation and then you will know how our
Arabic numbers were originally created a very long time ago and
what logic the people that created them used to determine their
shapes. It is really very simple and quite creative?

You have to admire the intelligence of a person or people that
created something so simple and perfect that it has lasted for
thousands and thousands of years and will probably never change?

When the presentation gets to the number "seven" you will notice that
the 7 has a line through the middle of it. That was the way the Arabic
7 was originally written, and in Europe and certain other areas they still
write the 7 that way. Also, in the military, they commonly write it that way.
The nine has a kind of curly tail on it that has been reduced, for the
most part nowadays, to a simple curve, but the logic involved still applies.

Click on the attachment and be amazed

A ghost story from Colombo General Hospital

Happened in this case the Colombo General Hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday mornings at 11 a. m, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a hospital-wide expert team was constituted and they Decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incident. So on the next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 am, all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil.

Then the clock struck 11 ...

And then ......




Then .....






Then ........





Sumanadasa, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner .......

Love is blind

♥ Love ♥ is blind! =)
.

.
.
...
.
.
.
.
.

Marriage opens eyes ! =pp =dd

Sheesh mahal dosti ki nishani

Agar Pyar ki Nishani Tajmahal Hai to dosti ki kya nishani hai?
sach dost ho to jawab do?

Answer.
Sheesh mahal dosti ki nishani.

Solve if U r smart enough..

Solve if U r smart enough..

Every question has 10 marks..

Pass marks 70..

CORRECT THE SPELLING.

Q.1 LAURBWPAH

(A City)

Ans:

Q.2 CANFER

(A Country)

Ans:

Q.3 NKNGBAI

(Profession)

Ans:

Q.4 KNBECOAB

(Body Part)

Ans:

Q.5 PUTLI

(Flower)

Ans:

Q.6 DAPELRO

(Animal)

Ans:

Q.7 CBKYAERLRB

(Fruit)

Ans:

Q.8 CPNSIHA

(Vegetable)

Ans:

Q.9 EUSTuIORQ

(Colour)

Ans:

Q.10 ACXROT

(Vehicle)

Ans:

Same Word

1 admi_____me peda hua,
_____me kam krta tha,
us k_____me dard hua,
wo_____me he mr gya,&
_____he me dfan hua

in sb blanks me 1 hi lafz aega.
Its CHALLENGE.iska ans den.

Panchwi Pass Se Tez

Kya ap panchwi pass se tez hain!

Chalen aap ka test hai.

Lekin ap ne is sMs ko sirf ek bar parhna hai.

Ok

Kya aap ready ho?

Chalo dekhte hain

2 + 7

+ 5

+ 9

- 5

+ 4

- 4

+ 8

- 2

+ 5

- 4

+ 12

- 8

+ 3

+ 32


-30

+ 3

+ 2



-3



Sawal ye hai
K

Ap ne down ka Button ktni bar pres kya.?

Bujho To Jaane

Q.1
Wo kon se 3 fruits hain jo darjan k hisab se bikty hen.
1.BANANA
2.ORANGE
3. ..............?

Q.2
Wo kon C sabzi hai jis k aakhir me tar hai
1. Tamatar
2. Mattar
3. ...........?

Q.3
Wo kon sa parinda hai jis k aakhir me tar aata hai
1. Kabutar
2. Teetar
3. ..........?

Q.4
Aisi k0n c cheez hai jis k aakhir me DOOQ aata hai
1.sandooq
2.bandooq
3. ..........?

Reply me fast
ITS A Challagne Hurry.(

Alfaz Ko Tartib Dy Kar Batao

Its a Challeng 4u
in alfaz ko tartib dy kr batao..

Aadnim (place)

Hinjan (famous person)

Nsrkihfige (bird)

Krca (furniture)

Aspat (food)

R U Genius?

Allama Iqbal ki wife ka naam kia hai ?

"2010" ka sub say super Hit Question...

Allama Iqbal ki wife ka naam kia hai ?
Agar pakistani ho to jawab do.

Give tha ans?
Reply must, its CHALLENGE!

Answer
1st wife of allama iqbal-kareem bibi in 1893
2nd wife of sardar begum in 1910
3rd wife of mukhtar begum in 1913

Dunya Ki Tareekh Ka Ek Aisa Sawal Jo Aapki Neenden Urra Deg

Dunya Ki Tareekh Ka Ek Aisa Sawal
Jo Aapki Neenden Urra Dega.

Magar Dil Tham K Sawal Parhna.

Sawal Ye Hai K.

.
.
.
.
.

Bulgham Namkeen Hota Hai Ya Khatta?

"i l0ve y0u" is a statement

C0nfusi0n ..

Grammar says

"i l0ve y0u" is a statement

N0t a questi0n

Then

Why d0es it always

Require answer? ??:-) ahan .

Jokes -come- puzzle

1. wich months hav 28 days?

2. if u drop a white hat in2 the Red Sea, wat does it becom?

3. wat starts with e, ends with e, but has only 1 letter?

4. wat has a head & a tail but no body?

5. wat has arms & legs but no head?

IQ question

IQ question

If nine thousand nine hundred and nine is written as 9909

then how twelve thousand twelve hundred and twelve is written???

Self Confidence By 11 Simple Rules

Self confidence gives us the freedom to commit mistakes and cope with failure without making us feel worthless.If only we have confidence in ourselves, can we gain confidence of others.

After all, most people are reluctant to back a project thats being pitched by someone who is nervous, fumbling and overly apologetic.

On the other hand, you might be persuaded by someone who spoke clearly, who held his or her head high, who answered questions assuredly, and who readily admitted when he/she did not know something.

So where do you rate yourself on the scale of 1-10 for your confidence level? Do you think you fall in the low confidence bracket? Here is some good news for you. And the good news is that self-confidence can be learned and built on.

Lets start the process of building self-confidence. Remember there is no quick fix solution for it. Nonetheless, practice makes a man perfect. So all you have to do is try and implement the following given tips in your day to day life.


Recognize your insecurities:

We all have insecurities in life. It can be anything from acne, to regrets, to friends at school. Giving a name to the things which make you feel unworthy, ashamed or inferior helps to combat them. You can try to pen down your thoughts and you will find that it makes you feel much lighter and happier. Remember that no one is perfect. The man or woman sitting next to you might have the same amount of insecurities as you have. If writing doesnt come easily to you, you might want to talk it out with your friends or loved ones. Sharing your thoughts will help relieve the burden you have been carrying all alone.


Identify your successes:

No matter how insecure you might feel, God has blessed each one of us with some talent. Discover the things you are good at and then focus on improving them. Give yourself permission to take pride in your talents. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which youve declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.


Be thankful for what you have:

A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether its emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.


Be positive:

Avoid self-pity or sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others.


Dress sharp:

Although clothes don't make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. When you dont look good, you dont feel good. It changes the way you carry yourself and interact with people. This doesn'tt mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes.


Walk faster:

Your gait tells a lot about your personality. Is it slow? Tired? Painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. You can increase yourself confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.


Compliment other people:

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, youll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

Take the front seat:

Back benchers might seem to have a lot of fun in schools and colleges but that does nothing to boost their self confidence. Don't be afraid to get noticed. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over your irrational fear of getting noticed and build your self confidence.


Speak up:

Its a general observation that many people are afraid to speak or ask questions in a group discussion or a public gathering. They are afraid that they might be judged for saying something stupid. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you'll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.


Work out:

A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. If you are fit, you are surrounded by positivity and energy. If you are out of shape you feel unattractive. This leads to demoralization. Just a little discipline in your life can help shape up your self confidence in a big way.

Smile:

Last but not the least; try to smile as much as possible. People are always appreciative of a smiling face. You will be welcomed by anyone who comes in your contact. A smiling face is always received with warmth and affection. Acceptance and recognition from others helps in building self confidence.

I do think New Year's resolutions

I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New Year's Day, don't you?  Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke of midnight with so much nicotine in the system.  Also dieting on New Year's Day isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover.  I think it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the second.

Needs a lot of Thinking

Needs a lot of Thinking... Can you answer this?



Once there was a bus conductor, who was very rude to his passengers.

One day a beautiful young girl, of around 18 years,tried to board the bus, but he didn't stop the bus. Unfortunately the beautiful young girl came under the bus and died on the spot.

Angry passengers took the conductor to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge was not at all impressed with him and gave him capital punishment.

He was taken to the electrocution chamber.

There was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.

The conductor was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him! .

But to everyone's amazement, he survived.

The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

After a few months, this time, a good looking middle aged woman tried to board the bus but the conductor didn't stop the bus.

Unfortunately, this time also, the good looking middle aged woman came under the bus and died on the spot. Again angry passengers took him to the police station, who in turn took him to the court.

The judge took one look at the conductor and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.

He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time also to everyone's amazement, he survived.

The judge decided to set him free, and he returned to his profession.

A couple of months later, an elderly gentleman tried to board the bus.

This time the Bus conductor, remembering his earlier experiences, stopped the bus.

Unfortunately the elderly gentleman slipped and died due to his injuries.

The conductor was taken to the police station and then to the court, to the same judge.

Though he hadn't done anything wrong, but considering his past record the judge decided to set an example and gave him capital punishment.

The Bus conductor was again taken to the same electrocution chamber where there was a single chair in the center of the room and a single banana peel at one corner of the room.

He was strapped to the chair and high voltage current was given to him.

This time he died instantly !!!!!!!!!!!


The question is why didn't he die on the first two occasions, but died instantly the third time??


Try to solve it yourselves. This is rather interesting and answer is perfectly logical.

If necessary read the puzzle once again.



Still you couldn't, Then see below...



Think hard



Tired????



wanna know the answer????


Answer :

During the first two times, the conductor was a Bad Conductor, therefore electricity didn't pass through him.

But during the third time, he was a good conductor, electricity passed through him freely and he died!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!! !

Ha Ha Ha ha !!!!!!!!

Obviously you gotta revise your science chapter on Electricity?

MARRIED LIFE

MARRIED LIFE

MARRIED LIFE - MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP, SUCH A HAPPY ENDING !!


************ ******


A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love,

Couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

"Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife

"I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered.

"I'm going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?"

She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer,

Brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan , India , etc.


The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was,

"Yes, Lollipop... But at the bar... You know... They have frozen glasses... "


He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying,

"You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that

She was getting chills just holding it.


The husband, looking a bit pale, said,

"Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious...

I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"


"You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?"

She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.


"But my sweet honey... At the bar.... You know there's swearing, dirty words and all that.."


"You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?

LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR BLOODY ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"

Whenever I wanna fall in love

Whenever I wanna fall in love with my books..
My bed fall in love with me...
& I always respect the one who loves me :

Exercise Is Hell

A Rabbit Runs, Jumps
& Lives only for 15 Yrs

While A Turtle doesn't Run
does Nothing
Yet Lives for 300 Yrs

Moral
Exercise Is Hell
Just Sleep Well:-)

Why won't they let a year die

Why won't they let a year die without bringing in a new one on the instant, can't they use birth control on time?  I want an interregnum.  The stupid years patter on with unrelenting feet, never stopping - rising to little monotonous peaks in our imaginations at festivals like New Year's and Easter and Christmas - But, goodness, why need they do it?

New Year's is a harmless annual institution

New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.

Happy Old Year

When then is lost, as time is by,
we look upon the yearly wine
to see our substance in the lees.
Did tribe and purse most pleasing leave?
To look for clear and faithful sense,
that gives a bodied stance bouquet,
then see the vat at mirror's face
and find in it, the yearly pace

met with Adversity's blast

And ye, who have met with Adversity's blast,
And been bow'd to the earth by its fury;
To whom the Twelve Months, that have recently pass'd
Were as harsh as a prejudiced jury -
Still, fill to the Future! and join in our chime,
The regrets of remembrance to cozen,
And having obtained a New Trial of Time,
Shout in hopes of a kindlier dozen.

remember … I love U

I never really knew you
You were just another friend
But when I got to know you,
I let my heart unbend.
I couldn’t help past memories
that would only make me cry
I had to forget my first love
and give love another try
So I’ve fallen in love with you
and I’ll never let you go
I love you more than anyone
I just had to let you know
And if you ever wonder why
I don’t know what I’ll say
But I’ll never stop loving you
each and every day
My feelings for you will never change
Just know my feelings are true
Just remember one thing
I Love You!

cause my heart was missing u!

i went 2 c d cardiologist 2day.
ECG showed anomalies in my heart’s mode of operation.
The doc said my heart was missing something 4 proper functioning.
I was rushed 2 d theater & surgery was about 2 commence
when i told the doc that surgery cud not solve d problem.
cause my heart was missing u!

I do my thing and you do yours

I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped.

Why My Friends r so sweet...

I Asked to God-

Why My Friends r so sweet...

So Beautiful...
...
So Kind Hearted..

So Gorgeous..

He Said...
.
.
.
Ye Sangat Ka Asar hai..

Jaise Aap waisay Aapke Dost...:p

By God, main samajh gaya

Ek bar ek Shopping Mall ne ek naya gujarati salesman hire kiya. Sale badhne lagi-din dugni, raat chauguni.

Boss ne socha is ladke se mujhe milna hai. Boss Mall par aaya, usne dekha ladka ek customer ko fishing-rod bechraha tha.

Woh door khada ho kar hi usko customer se deal karte dekhne lagaa. Ladke ne fishing-rod bech di. Customer ne kaha kitne rupaye, ladka bola Rs.800/-.

Yeh kahkar ladke ne customer ke shoes dekhe aur bola, itne mehange shoes pahankar fishing karne jayenge? Ek sport shoe bhi kharid lijiye, customer ne sport shoes bhi kharid liye.

Ab ladke ne kaha talaab kinare dhoop mein baithna padega, ek cap bhi kharid lijiye to theek rehega, customer ne cap bhi kharid li. Ab ladke ne kaha, machli pakadne mein bahut intezar karna padega, kuchch eatables, wafer, biscuits, bhi le jayiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid liye. Ladka bola machli pakdenge to rakhenge kahan ? Yeh ek Rs.100/- ki basket bhi le lijiye, customer ne woh bhi kharid li.

Ab total bill bana Rs.2000/- ka.

Boss bahut khush hua. Usne ladke ko bulaya aur kaha, tum to kamal ke salesman ho. Woh aadmi fishing rod kharidane ayaa . . aur tumane usey itna sara samaan bech diya, very good.

Ladka bola, ' Sir, woh aadmi to 'W isper' napkin kharidane ayaa tha uski biwi ke liye, maine kaha, char din tu ghar par kya karega, '"Jaa Machli Pakad'"

By God, main samajh gaya.......

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE. . .

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

************ ********* ********* *
MALE PROCEDURE:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

************ ********* ********* *

FEMALE PROCEDURE:
(What is really funny is that most of this part is the truth!!)

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in cheque register and place receipt in back of chequebook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH, AND TO THEWOMEN who can handle it.... And they need a laugh, too

Essay from a child ....

A teacher from Primary School asks her students to write a essay about what they would like God to do for them...At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional.

Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying and asked her: - What happened?
She answered - Read this. It's one of my students essay.

"Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place, And have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk.... I want to be the centre of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired. And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me... And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me. And last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them...
Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV".

At that moment the husband said:- 'My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
She looked up at him and said:- 'That essay is our Daughter's"

Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.





GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.




THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.



SUCCESS:

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.



Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;
BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.


Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*


Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short. Dance naked.

The Best Most Hilarious "Out of Office" Replies

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.'

(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

11: I've run away to join a different circus.

AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:

12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'..

Mcd0nalds ki speling

Girl: kiya hum Mcd0nalds ja sakte hain?
B0y: han agr tum mujhe Mcd0nalds ki speling suna d0 t0u
Girl: kuch dair s0ch k b0li dafa kar0 hum KFC chalte hain ;-)

ache insan ki talash main mat nikaln

DUNIA main kbi ache insan ki talash main mat nikalna. Q k
Aj kal Garmi boht h is liye
(',') Main ghar
<)"(> hi hota
_/"\_ hon..
Cal kr k apoinmnt ly lena..

Women are very Selfish!

Men are very Kind &
Women are very Selfish!
"PROOF"
Most Women Don't Like to Help Unknown Men
But All Men Are Ready anytime 2 Help Unknown Women:-P

Smile SMS

 A sad girl was sitting with her boyfriend...

Boy:You are the second most beautiful girl I have ever seen.
Girl:Who's the first?
Boy:It's you! When you smile...!

Ab larkiyon ka kya bane ga

Ranjha chala gaya,
Mahiwal doob gaya,
Majnoo bhi nahi raha,
Romeo bhi chal basa,
Meri bhi tabiyat theek nahi rehti

"Pata nahi ab larkiyon ka kya bane ga..."

Keyword: Flirt, Patana SMS

Flirt SMS Jokes

Future' ki soch ke kyoon 'Present' ko barbaad karen?
Aao pyaari haseena akele mein chand baat karen.

JAB LIGHT JATI HAI TO

Americans Power House CALL krte hn,

Japnese Fuse Test

krte hn,

0r

Pakistani

Gali me Jhank kar kehte hen

Shukar he Sab ki gai hy.

America Me Bed Se Takiye Uthayen Toh Dolar Nazr Aate Hain

India Me: Cinema K Tickets Nazr Aate Hain

Or

Pakistan Me?

Hath Wale Pankhay Nazr Aate Hain. :-)

Mat Kar Pyar Roshni Se Ye Pal Bhar Ki Mehman Hy,

Dil Laga Iss Andhere Se Jo QABAR tak Meharban Hy.

From : KESC ... =P =/

Once Upon A Time
There Was A Country
Who Claimed To Be A
Nuclear Power
But
Did Not Have
Electric Power ... =P =D

Tu Bar Bar Apni

Wafaon Ki Kahani Na Suna Faraaz

=

=

=

=

=

Hik ta Garmi bio bijli band

Matha wari Tuhnjo Pitko..

Merey Sapnoo Ki Rani Kb Aaye gi Tu

<(',') )

(\

_\\_

Aai Rut Mastani Kb

Aaye gi Tu......

(',')>

/) (

_//_

Beeti Jaye Zindagani Kab aye gi tu........

Chali aa tu chali aa.

(' .' )

>----) (----<

_/ \_

.

.

.

.

dedicated to BIJLI. (HAPPY LOADSHEDING)

American was thinking:

We hv conquered moon wht next to conquer.

Chinese:

We hv coverd almost 90% of the world markt how to cover the rest.

Indian:

We hv nailed Pakistan on foreign diplomatic front what else need to be done.

Pakistani:

12 bajay light gai thi tou 1 bajay ai hai

ab phir 3 bajay jaegi pata nhi 4 bjay aye gi k nahi

Allah karey 5 bjay na jae..

*Kya Rakkha hy Apni
zindagi ke is Afsaaney Mein
*

*

*

=Kuch guzri

"Light Aane mai

=kuch guzri

"Light jaane main.

Ya ALLAH mujhy Hosla day Myjhay Himat Day
Pakistan my Rehny k leye aur WAPDA ko
Bardasht karny K Leye ..... (Ameeen)

Jab light ho out of control,
tu khirki darwaze khol,
khirki darwaze khol,
Chanda mama ko bola k bol!
"ALL IzZ wELL"
K E S C kia jane public ka kya hoga?
Jaan jayegi ya garmi mein fana hoga?
Koi na jany ye masla kab solve hoga?
To Candle jala,UPS chala ya Generator chala k bol
Bhaiya ALL IzZ wELL.

Hi.....Meri jaan!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Nikal rahi hai garmi se....:-)
Or log pata nahi kya kya smajh lety hain.. :-)

Is saal clocks 1 ghanta agay krny k bajaye
calendar 1 saal agay kiye jaenge jis k mutabiq 2011 k baad 2013 ajayega.
Is se Pakistan me poory 1 saal ki bijli bachegi
or jamhuri hukumat ka ek or wada poora hoga k 2012 me load shedding nhi hogi.
Msg by
"Electrical Engineer Asif zardari"
Bijli Khappay....

Zindagi k kisi more per
Apne aap ko tanha mehsoos karo to
Dil-e -beqarar ko shabnami ankhon
Se dekhna lekin berfeeli ratoon me
Shab-e-hijran ki inayaton ko apni
Zeest me shamil-e Haal rakhne ka
Jazba bedar hone se pehle zulmat
Ki andhi talye dabne ke khof se kisi
Muflis ki zaboon hali ka perchar tumhare
Ghoroor ko is had tak na ponhcha de ke
Ronaq-e- Deedar se mayoos apni
Be basi ko kisi
Oh
H0o..
Thank's God Yar!
light aa gai...
Thnx yar,4 read this..

According to Combined investigation team's initial Report
There is no fault of Pak army or its any agency
in abbottabad incident..
.
.
.
It was "LoadSheding"
due 2 which Radars didnt work and darkness hide the U.S HeliCoptors..
.
.
.
Army Badnaam hoi WAPDA teray liye...:-)

Dekhte hai k
kon khush naseeb is sawal ka jawab "YES" ma deta hai??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. . . Light hai?

Usama bin ladin k aakhiri alfaaz.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Agar light na gae hotee tou main gun ki jaga wiper utha k fire na karta :-)

K.E.S.C walon say achay tou machar hain ...
"faraz"
Khoon to wo b chostay hain per bill tou nahi mangtay...
<('.')
/"/> Hai k nai?
_/"?/_sch btana!

Khwateen o Hazraat 1 zruri elaan suniye,
1 haseena jis ki ummr 220 saal hai, hr bar ki trah is bar b ghar se bhaag gai hai,
Maa ka naam KESC or baap ka WAPDA batati hai,
uska naam galati se Bijli rakh dia gya hai,
jisy b mily, KHUDA k liye us k susral (Pakistan) bhijwa dein,
faqat, uski saas
AWAAM.

Imran bhai yon dunya sa gaye

Imran bhai yon dunya sa gaye,
Apni yadain yahan pa chore gaye,
Maghfirat unki karay mera Khuda,
Pur na ho jo wo khila choor gaye,
Ya khuda ham ko da day sabre jameel,
Kitni yadain wo yahan chor gaye,
Moat bhi maar na sakay jis ko,
Aisa jazba vo ham main chor gaye,
Jin chiraghon ke roshni thay vo,
Un chiraghon ko jala chor gaye,
Aankh purnam ha dil bhi udaas,
kar k ghamgein hmy chor gaye.

Qalb-o-Jan pe Ujalon ki Roshni

17 Sep 2010

Chubhti hy
Qalb-o-Jan pe Ujalon ki Roshni

Aye Aftab doob jaa, Karachi Udaas hy

(Dedicated to
One & Only
Dr. Imran Farooq bhi.)

Tum aisSe roYa na kaRo.

Tum aisSe roYa na kaRo..

aLtaf...

ghum k mahool main bhi pori qom ki hansi nai rukti...
=P

Deadicate to Altaf Bahi... ;-

"Happy BirthDay TÖ "ALTAF" "HUSSAIN "BHAI"

"Happy BirthDay
TÖ "ALTAF"
"HUSSAIN "BHAI"
"17"SEPTEMBER KO
"QAID-E-THAREAK "JANAB "ALTAF" HUSAIN" BAHI KI ("57") SALGIRA HAY:~

"TAMAM" KARKUNAN KO B...

Altaf na simta hy na simty ka khbi lamho me

Waqt kay Qaid main jakry hoye logo sun lo.


Ek lamhy k liy thery howe logo sun lo.

Altaf na simta hy na simty ka khbi lamho me.

Who tu ahsah hy zinda hy shbi zheno me.

17th september ALTAF HUSSAIN BHAI

KI salagirah sabi sathion ko mbarak ho.

Hum apne bache ka nam kia rakhen gay?

Girlfriend:
Hum apne bache ka nam kia rakhen gay?
.
Boyfriend:
Agr shadi k bad howa To
"Saddam husain
.
Or Agr shadi se pehle howa To
"Altaf husain".

Imran Farooq ka qatal

Altaf Hussain ne Imran Farooq k qatal par kaha hy,
Ke ye 1 boht bari saazish hy,
kyu k Imran Farooq ko malum tha k




Kis ne kaha tha k Pepsi pe 5 rupe kam kardo.

Altaf Bhai KI Tarah Ro Kar Dikha Do

Maine Kaha K Pyar Main Kuch Bhi Kar Sakta Hon

Faraz....


Usne Muskura K Kaha..

Acha Altaf Bhai KI Tarah Ro Kar Dikha Do. :-)

Hollywood Offer Altaf Hussain

Breaking News!

Hollywood ne Altaf Hussain ki rone ki acting se impress ho kr unhen apni agli film

‘THE CRYING VAMPIRE’

me role ki offer kardi.

Geo Bhai..

Altaf bhai ki kitab 'bachpan ki chalaki'

Men jab chota tha to dosre cousin ko marta tha,

To dosra cousin ye bolta tha:
"Marta b khudi hai or rota b khudi hai"

Altaf bhai ki kitab 'bachpan ki chalaki'